June 7th. The day I was supposed to start what would have been my dream internship. However, due to issues with my work authorization, I was not able to take the position. I had come to the United States from India during COVID to begin a graduate program.

Wrapping up my life in suitcases, while taking exams and recovering from COVID was tough. I was eagerly looking forward to a sunny stable summer. Losing the internship was devastating. However, I’ve been reflecting and here are a few lessons I have gathered from the experience.

1. Feel Your Feelings

Losing the internship caused me to ruminate on how I always try to shut away feelings of disappointment. However, pain is just another sensation that we need to allow ourselves to feel. Where I went wrong until now was to shut away these emotions rather than to accept them. Only by processing disappointment was I then prepared to charter a new path by taking classes, finding projects and discovering hobbies.

2. Self Worth Is More Than The Positions You Hold

The internship wasn’t a reflection on me but circumstance and timing. I am trying to realize that my worth far outweighs external factors. It is so easy to feel defined by jobs, grades, and titles that we can feel very lost without them. To have any of these things taken away need not be a reason to lose self-worth but to find strength and peace in your abilities. 

3. Find Your Folk

Whether it is wonderful classmates that make you feel uplifted, professors that renew your faith, college advisors and a program that supports you tirelessly, or family that loves you unconditionally, there are always places to go that feel comforting and receive you with open arms. It is important for us to remind ourselves that we have these loyal advocates who remind us of who we are when we forget. They power us to push through challenging times.

4. Caring Companies Exist

During this time, I also realized that there are companies that care at their core. The sheer outpouring of love that I received from the employer I was slated to join over the summer was heartwarming. I was impressed by their willingness to explore alternatives and provide flexible options. Companies that place such value on employees are rare. It is therefore no surprise that most of the employees of this company have been there for decades. Find companies with a conscience.

5. Stick Up For What’s Yours, but Graciously Move Forward

The rejection was so challenging, but I’m glad that I fought as hard as I could to keep the position.I’d rather feel like I tried everything I possibly could than to feel that I didn’t try. From this experience I realized it is really important to keep at it if you really believe something is worth fighting for. However it is equally important to let go when you hit a dead end.